Post # 18

Monday... Monday was amazing. There is nothing better in the world than just vegging out and spending time with you. Thank you for going thrifting while I went to the chiro... thank you for helping me take my car to be worked on... and thank you most of all for coming home and sitting half-naked playing games and watching TV with me. Nothing could make me happier. :-)

I know Sunday was extremely rough... but guess what!? We got thru it... I think Sunday night was wonderful and I'm glad I got to cook you foods I've never shared with you before. I'm even happier that you adored my naner puddin. LOL. Guess I'll have to make that more often, huh?

I meant what I said this week... it's the little moments that stack up and make up the big moments... If we wait for big moments to happen, we'll miss all the little moments that actually mean so much. And I don't want to miss a single moment with you.

I also want to thank you for Tuesday. Even tho MY Tuesday was horrible... yours was great and me coming home to what you accomplished made my horrible day just wash away. I absolutely adore that you have turned my place into Our Home... they say home is where the heart is... and well, darlin' my home is with you. hehehe ;-) (ok yea that sounded silly hearing myself think that in a country accent lol)

Anywho, I'm glad you're here babydoll. I can't think of anywhere I'd rather you be than here with me, in my life, creating memories together. I can't wait to make a million more. <3

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Post # 17

I love you so very, very much... I wish you never doubted me. I wish there was a way that I could once and for all show you 100% that I do, in fact, adore you. Even when we fight. Even when we argue. Even if I'm being a b*tch and ur being an a$$. I. STILL. LOVE. YOU!

No, I can't stop in the middle of the argument and hug you and tell you this... it feels forced... it doesn't feel like something that you'd believe even if I did do it. I feel like you'd just say "Oh ur just doing it bc I told you to.." and then we'd just fight all over again. I'm sorry that I'm a jerk sometimes. But it doesn't change how I feel about you. Nothing will ever change that. 

Why? Bc you are the love of my life and I want to spend forever with you. We can do this, baby. I just know it. 

Treasure, that is what you are
Honey, you're my golden star
You know you can make my wish come true
If you let me treasure you
If you let me treasure you

Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl, you should be smiling
A girl like you should never look so blue
You're everything I see in my dreams
I wouldn't say that to you if it wasn't true

Post # 16

I have been in a weird mood today. I'm completely annoyed by every one of these customers, but yet I'm singing a song to you in my head... and not really a popular song, but a completely cheesy one... I'm glad no one can hear my thoughts. LOL

What's the song? Ugh, really, ur gonna make me sing it? Fine... 

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

You make me happy, when skies are grey.

You'll never know dear, how much I love you.

Don't take my sunshine away.

Ok, there you go.. Now I feel like a dork. :-) LOL

I love you babydoll. Ok so I just randomly found this.. It's Johnny so I'm sure it's bound to be good!!

I'll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me and love another
You'll regret it all some day

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

Post # 15

Ok, so it has become abundantly clear. It's nearly impossible to write to you EVERY day... and I hope you feel that this is ok, because the truth of the matter is, when I've not had time to write here, it's typically because I am actually spending the time with you. And I'd MUCH rather actually be with you spending time, then on here reminiscing about spending time with you. :-)

So, from here on in, I'll post to here every single day that I possibly can and if I miss a day, then I'll most assuredly be with you, making it worthwhile. ;-)

The last two days have been awesome. As usual. I know we had our little arguments here and there, but I love going out and trying new things with you, going to new places and just driving. I adore riding down the road with you, holding your hand (or leg hehe) and talking to you about this sight or that sight. Especially when we find future places to visit!

I'm sorry we missed the Indian buffet but my god, their food was just as delicious as the one last Monday and for what we got, the price was comparable. I'm sitting here salivating about the thought of coming home to have the leftovers for lunch with you!

I'm glad I finally got to share my little shop with you FINALLY! Been thinking about taking you there since the day we met! Next time, we need to get there in plenty of time tho so we can every.thing! And who knew walking around a grocery store could be so great!? I love a fresh foods, organic, healthy store. There are SO many great things there we can plan on trying! Should I make that curry dish tonight or save it for the kids tomorrow?!?! Hmmmm choices, choices!

Last but not least, I have 5 words left to say: Creme brulee, Tiramisu, Kheer... YUM!!!

Thank you for being the one I make memories with on a daily basis. I couldn't think of anyone better to enjoy the ride with, than you, the love of my life. <3 <3 <3

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
that now I'm in a whole new world with you

Day # 14

I'll add more to this later but right now it's nap time. I just left you at work after spending SIX hours there with you. Lol I'm exhausted but lunch was fab-u-lous! Just wanted to say a quick I Love You before rolling over and hugging your pillow and falling asleep. You make me happy babydoll. <3

Thank you for being in my life sweetheart. You make me happy. Thank you for being my One and Only. :-)

So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts
Come on and give me a chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts.

Day # 13

I know you feel like I missed today, but today isn't over until I go to sleep. :-P I know yesterday was both awesome and awful all in one, but I don't want us to let the bad overshadow the good.

Hannah Thomas was absolutely amazing, as usual. I had a great time and loved LaShea so much too. We can't let what happened later erase the rest of the evening. I loved being there with you, touching you, kissing you and hugging you. I can't wait till next time. :-)

Day # 12

Ugh.. Yesterday was awful. But last night was wonderful. Can't believe I've already missed a day. :-/ But.. I could've posted last night.. but spending time with you was so much better. SO instead of blogging, here are some videos that capture our discussion last night:

It's my life 
And it's now or never 
I ain't gonna live forever 
I just want to live while I'm alive 
(It's my life) 

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up, still looking up.

Day # 11

I'm starting this early! For the time-being, I'm not being slammed with customers! I wanna tell you how happy spending our anniversary together made me. We had such an amazing day and I cannot imagine having a better time with anyone else in the world. I have thought and thought and I know I've never just pulled over and went and sat in the park and had breakfast with anyone... and I certainly can only have brea-fast with you. ;-) That was such a calming, relaxing, wonderful feeling that I will remember forever. 

Thank you for letting me sneak a chiro visit in... I'm so happy about the amazing movies we found while thrifting. I think I should go to the chiro more often so you can go over there shopping for us. Lol I can't wait to put all those movies on our new shelf and smile at them each time I think of the memories. 

And, I know we've been to the movies half a dozen times already, but I really find it enjoyable with you. I so love getting all our snacks and sitting there with my hand in your lap, sharing our goodies. I won't go into details, hehe as those are special memories to us, but I think you know ALL the things I enjoy about it. ;-)

Dinner was SIMPLY amazing. Obviously I don't need to go into details here, as I've already wrote about it, but OMG, we're going back on Monday... just a warning... buffet.. MMMmmmm I'm so excited!!

Last night as we were sitting there on OUR couch half-naked, feeding our faces and each other, playing 2K11 and just talking, you asked me if this was what being a couple is really about... and I smiled and looked you in the eyes, and said Yes... yes, this is what happiness is... this is what being in a relationship is all about.. It's about the little things. It's about building memories with the one you love. It's about building our life together, one night at a time, one movie or game or meal or moment at a time. 

And thank you for falling asleep in my arms. I hope you didn't lie there awake too long! Baby, I could not be happier if I tried. You are my sweetheart, my love, my Capetillar, my darlin... you are my One. I love you punkin.

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance.
And up until now I have sworn to myself
That I'm content with loneliness.

Because none of it was ever worth the risk.

Well you are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception!

Day # 10

God, I hate days like today! ALL I want in the world is to be home with you and here I am sitting here being screamed at customer after customer. I SERIOUSLY need a new job. I'd love to be on here writing to you about our amazing day yesterday and instead, I am using my break to try to get my frustration out.When it's like this, it's hard to get past all the cloudiness and frustration to get to the point where I remember how much I love you and how amazing you are and how happy you make me. 

I know we had a rough night last night when you wanted to stay up and I was going to bed alone. I'm sorry about that. It just hit me wrong and disappointed me because I wanted to be in your arms... but I totally get that you weren't sleepy and I wasn't mad at you at all... I need you to understand that when I'm sleepy, I have a hard time communicating my thoughts... please be understanding and I will try my best. Yes, I was disappointed, but I fell asleep so fast, that I obviously was ok... I didn't like waking up to you not there, tho... I think that's what I hate worse than not falling asleep beside you... I hate waking up and not having you there. But it's not the end of the world... I promise, I won't die because of it.... Well, maybe not. :-)

I love you babydoll.. Actually sitting here writing this has cleared my head enough to get back to that point... now if only I didn't have to go 2 more hours of crap. UGH. Anywho, I love you. I'll write you about yesterday... no worries, but I can't wait to see you tonight. I love you forever and always, my dear Capetillar.

Hey, maybe just a smile
Oh, hey, did you know that I can dance?
Could we talk for a while?

Well, I think you're smart
You sweet thing
Tell me your sign
I'm dying here

Ah-ooh, got you where I want you, yeah
Ah-ooh, got you where I want you
Where I want you, I want you, yeah!

Day # 9

Happy Anniversary!!! It's noon and it's already been an amazing day. I cannot thank you enuf for riding with me when I take the kids to school. I've always dreaded it and had trouble staying awake but with you by my side, it makes it sooooo less awful!

I think we have an addiction to Sonic drinks! We need to start coming up with new flavors. I bet we could Google some ideas!

Thank you for buying us brea-fast. :-) And thank you for sitting at the park with me and enjoying. I was being honest when I said I've never done that before. I honestly don't remember having done it, anyways. It felt amazing holding your hand, sitting on that swing and enjoying the fresh aired morning with you. You make my heart happy babydoll. You truly do.

I loved coming home and falling asleep in your arms. I love talking about important historical points in our relationship.. The defining moments and showing you just how much I love you.  Falling asleep in your arms is just an added bonus.

I'm about to come wake you up, after I get out of this warm bath where the only thing missing is you... What should we do today?!? Only time will tell... But I know it'll be amazing cuz I have you!

Now there's nothing but time that's wasted
And words that have no backbone
And now it seems like the whole world's waiting
Can you hear the echoes fading?
In the mourning I'll rise
In the mourning I'll let you die
In the mourning all my sorries.

-----------

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too

Day # 8

What to say? What to say? I just left you at work.. after sitting there with you for FIVE hours. lol... you got 5 hrs to go and I think that's a perfect time for a nap. And a few dozen other chores I need to get done. I'm sorry that your mom is being such a spazz. I wish there was something I could say or do to make all that hurt and pain go away... I wish that none of it had to do with me. 

But everything will be ok. I promise. I love you and you love me and we're gonna be happy for a very long time. And that's what matters. She'll figure things out along the way. You have to live your own life. She'll eventually start living hers. Everything will work out in the end. 

The answer to all of your questions today.. YES.. Yes, I love you. Yes, we can make this work. Yes, everything will be ok. And an emphatic YES, yes the children love you.. Not bc you have nice sh*t... not bc of where you work.. but because of You. Ur just gonna have to accept that. :-P

And yes, even that crazy cat loves you. We ALL love you. Always.

Here come bad news talking this and that, yeah,
Well, give me all you got, and don't hold it back, yeah,
Well, I should probably warn you I'll be just fine, yeah,
No offense to you, don't waste your time
Here's why...

Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I'm happy
Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

Day # 7

So... tonight's the night. OMG I'm bursting at the seams... you don't know this blog exists yet... but you will! Tonight. I said I had a surprise for you Sunday... but I just couldn't wait one more day! I really hope you like this.. and I really hope you can take this and see that I truly do love you. With all my heart. And all my soul. 

No matter what ANYone says, my love for you is not an act. This is not a ploy. This is honest-to-goodness the truth poured out on a page. You.deserve.to.be.loved! You are an amazing and beautiful girl and deserve nothing but the best in all things. I may not be the most beautiful person in the world, and you deserve someone so much better than me, but dangit, for some reason, you HAVE chosen me and I'm going to make it my life goal to never make you regret that decision.

I know we'll have our bad times, but our good times are just so mind-blowing sometimes.. (like Thursday night?! RAWR!!) Just the thought of you makes me smile. Even when I'm at work, someone mentions your name, or I see something that reminds me of you... and I get this massively cheesy grin on my face! Sometimes even when people are screaming at me, I picture being home with you instead and I just smile... it truly helps me disconnect from the bad sometimes and helps me remember what's most important in my life. These people try to tear me down, but you are always there at the end of the day to lift me right back up. And for that, I'll forever be in your debt. 

All morning I've been thinking about this coming Monday... our anniversary. WOW, how time flies. I want our day to be amazing. I want it to be memorable and special and perfect. And it will be... because I will be spending it with you. I can't even begin to explain how much joy I get out of planning a special surprise for you... I love coming up with something unique that you've never done, or someplace that you've never been. I truly love creating memories with you. I look forward to the next 50 years of memories with you. 

Can you even imagine??? Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with me? Can you honestly really picture us, together, old and grey? Well... me old and grey and you young and sexy? Haha, like every other day!? :-) I love you babydoll. I love that you are my sweet, kind, gentle Capetillar and I am your loving Dragonfly. I love how you love me and I vow to love you for as long as I live.

Oh, because 
You are the best thing 
(you're the best thing) 
You are the best thing 
(you're the best thing, baby) 
You are the best thing 
(you're the best thing, oooh) 
Ever happened to me 

Baby 
We've come a long way 
And baby 
You know i hope and i pray 
That you believe me 
When i say this love will never fade away

Day # 6

Man, it has been a long day. Today is one of those days where I have to strive to make sure your know that you are loved bc I don't want the stress of work and such to affect us at all... I think I did a great job of that last night. ;-) and oh boy, how you made it obvious that you love me! :-D

I know my job gets to me. And I'm working on fixing that. The one thing that gets me thru my day, day in and day out... Is you. I think about our nights.. About what we'll do tonight after I leave here, after I get you.. And it keeps me motivated. Even as I sit here and get berated customer after customer, I think of you and I smile.

Lunches are my favorite part of my work day. I know you feel like you are a burden on me sometimes, but you truly are not. I look forward to coming to pick you up every day. And holding your hand while we make our stops and the kisses and hugs I get when I drop you off.

You truly make me happy darlin'. I hope you never forget that. 

~ Love, your Dragonfly

With a little love, and some tenderness 
We'll walk upon the water 
We'll rise above this mess 
With a little peace, and some harmony 
We'll take the world together 
We'll take 'em by the hand 
'Cause I've got a hand for you 
'Cause I wanna run with you

Day # 5

I'm sitting here waiting for you to get off work. Is it weird that I like to watch you thru the window? Even since the day we met, I've enjoyed observing you with customers. You are just so good at your job. You are so sincere. And knowledgeable. I swear you've got a whole Wikipedia in that head of yours. Idk how you remember it all, but dang you are seriously brilliant.

I really do believe someday maybe, many years from now, we could open our own store. You would make it a true success.. I really do believe that. Maybe we could really do it... One step at a time, one day at a time. You and me? We can accomplish ANYthing!

And good god, you are just so sexy when you work.. Especially with those tanks on... Your muscles flexing.. Mmmm it's a good thing there are cameras everywhere or we would've consummated right here a long long time ago. ;-)

Hehe, I love you my little Capetillar. (♡˙︶˙♡)

'Cause it's too cold
For you here and now
So let me hold
Both your hands in the holes of my sweater

And if I may just take your breath away
I don't mind if there's not much to say
Sometimes the silence guides our minds
So move to a place so far away
The goose bumps start to raise
The minute that my left hand meets your waist
And then I watch your face
Put my finger on your tongue
'Cause you love to taste

Day # 4

Yesterday/last night was simply amazing. Just spending time with you going from shop to shop, listening to you barter to the point that the shop owner commented to me about it just makes me smile.

Having you there with me helping me pick out clothes was such a great experience. I've never had anyone do that with me. Ever. Not since I was a child. I really enjoyed sharing the dressing room with you... But it's too bad we didn't get a chance to use that more to our advantage. ;-) Hehe maybe next time.

I love sharing my favorite things with you. I love that I get to be there for so many of your firsts. And couldn't be happier that when I share my favorite things with you, they almost always end up being things that you thoroughly enjoy as well.

I couldn't be happier that we both sat there and stuffed ourselves on amazing Thai food to the point where we were sick. Lol who else would I ever find that matches me in so many different ways?

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too

Day # 3

I'm laying here beside you watching you sleep. I can't believe you are mine. I truly do believe that you must be the softest, warmest most beautiful girl in the world. And to beat it all... Ur mine. :-) How did I ever get to be so lucky? How did I ever get an amazing girl like you to look twice at me?

I know we have our moments. Everyone does. I know we argue and I know we fight but all in all, we are extremely happy and I truly do feel like we are meant for each other. Running my fingers along your curves, feeling all ur edges under my fingertips and inhaling your scent sends me to a place that can only be called heaven.

Heaven is here on earth and heaven is laying here in our bed with you. Our legs intertwined, my arms around you, and our naked bodies lying skin to skin has GOT TO BE what heaven truly feels like.

'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you

Day # 2

My dearest Capetillar,

You know, I constantly think back on that fateful day. The day we met. So very very long ago. ;-) And I never get over the fact that an amazing girl like you would ever really look twice at an old wretched thing like me. It makes me smile every time I think about the lengths you went thru to keep me in the store. But I'm happy you did.

I wish I could go back somehow as a third party and just observe everything that took place. First of all, was I really flirting?? I didn't even know I knew how to flirt. Lol! Secondly were you really flirting? How the hell did I not notice? When you asked me to roll up your sleeve, could you feel the excitement in my fingertips? Could you see it in my face?? Was is that completely obvious that I freakin loved it? ? :-D

Oh to be a fly on that wall on that beautiful night would be a gift beyond measure. What was it about me that drew you in? Was it simply the fact that I'm drop dead gorgeous? Bwahaha!!! Was it because you were bored and didn't have anything better to do? Or were you just completely smitten the moment I identified myself as a pagan lesbian? Did you think to yourself, oh hell! I've found a gold mine here... Sexy, intelligent AND a pagan lesbian! Hot damn, she's the one! :-D :-D :-D

But seriously, that night will replay in my head until I am old and gray. I remember my Gma telling me things from her younger days and how she'd tell me the same details again and again and I just have to wonder... What beautiful memories will I be telling my grandchildren when I'm all deaf and senile?

Honestly, there's no telling! But I can guarantee... They'll most assuredly be great ones. <3

Love, your Dragonfly

I don't want you to leave, 
will you hold my hand?

Oh, won't you stay with me?
'Cause you're all I need
This IS* love, it's clear to see
SO* darling, stay with me

Day # 1

Today is the 1st day of the rest of our lives... and I just have to put my words down on "paper" because they are just too big to contain. This is the beginning of what I hope is concrete proof of my deep love for you. This blog is my dedication to you... my heart on the screen... the evidence of my love. For you, my dear Capetillar. ;-)

I intend to write to this every.single.day... Some days may be long, some days may be short... but I intend to make sure that every single day, I take at least one moment to ensure that my love for you is shown... and on the days where everything is so hectic, and everything is so stressed, that is when it is most important that I take a moment to appreciate you... bc you mean the absolute world to me. I was so close to losing that... forever, and I intend to NEVER let it get to that point again. I love you my sweet, dear Capetillar and I absolutely always will. I hope you always know this.

I am forever yours, I am your Dragonfly.

Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life?
Say yes, say yes 'cause I need to know
You say I'll never get your blessing 'til the day I die
Tough luck, my friend, but the answer is 'No'

Why you gotta be so rude?
Don't you know I'm human too?
Why you gotta be so rude?
I'm gonna marry her anyway

Marry that girl
Marry her anyway
Marry that girl
Yeah, no matter what you say
Marry that girl
And we'll be a family